Hey Y’all!
How beautiful is Autumn? The leaves have started changing and you have such a plethora of deep reds, oranges, yellows. Summer used to be my favorite season but now I think it might be Autumn. As rapidly as the changes of this season come, there’s a calmness to take note of. A coziness. I’ve been cozying up by our fireplace in my chunky sweaters with my coffee in the mornings. I’ve been enjoying the brisk fall breeze that makes the changing leaves wave hello. I’ve noticed a change in the animal behavior out back as well. There used to be a ton of different little (and not so little — coyotes) creatures outside early in the mornings. Now it takes them a little longer to come out, probably due to the cooling temperatures. The hummingbirds have left. The geese are leaving. Daylight is fleeting.
I’ve noticed a shift in myself as well. I realized that whatever I was doing/thinking before wasn’t yielding the results I’ve been searching for. My anxiety seems to have plateaued. Not getting any better or worse. My anxiety not worsening is not a bad thing, but since it’s already pretty bad — I would like to see some improvement. I have seen improvement on managing my most anxious moments. They don’t seem to last as long. But what I’d really like to see change is the frequency at which these moments occur. A lot of times it really seems like they come out of nowhere for no reason at all. To try and find what’s causing these anxious moments, I looked to my breathing habits. What I found is that I am almost constantly breathing erratically. There is no rhythm at all to my breaths and they are probably shorter and faster than they should be. Now here I am, listening to “Breath” by John Nestor. A book about how humans are quite literally the worst breathers on this planet and all of the negative side effects that come with awful breathing. You guessed it, anxiety. On top of erratic breathing, I’ve noticed (not recently, I’ve always been this way) that I have some slouchy slumpy posture. Bad posture can cause an enormous amount of issues including but not limited to: chest pain, neck pain, back pain, and shallow breathing.
Moving into this new season and watching Mother Nature put on such a beautiful transformation, I’ve decided to follow her lead. I know I’ve done a lot of talking about how to manage or how I’m going to manage things without very much follow through. Consistency and discipline have never been my strong suit but I am determined to overcome this anxiety and phase of life. I’m finally digging into different breathing techniques, stretches, and routines that will slowly take form and become habit or second nature. I’ve shifted my perspective on my purpose in life. I went from questioning everything to being strong in my beliefs and purpose of being a stay-at-home-mom, homeschooler, mother and wife. When you finally understand your purpose and how important it truly is to the bigger picture, there is nothing that can stop you.
Working on and bettering myself allows me to feel better each day but also ensures longterm health. If your body is under constant stress, it will surely have negative effects on your overall health. I owe it to my family and my children to be in the best shape physically and mentally to teach and show them all I have to give. A short while ago, I didn’t believe I had much to offer. Today, I know that I do.
I’m trying to focus more on being intuitive and trusting my gut feelings. On following natural cues. Moving to Colorado has definitely connected me to nature. I have been more connected here than I have been in my entire life. I feel more connected to my family than ever, although there is a lot of work to be done in truly being released from anxiety and connecting with them on an even deeper level.
Admitting faults or shortcomings is never easy. Overcoming them can be even harder. It’s important to remember that everyone has something or things that they’re working on. Start taking steps to being the person you want to be in a month from now or a year from now. Your future self is counting on you.
I want to end things on a positive note! We have added to our pack this month! Her name is Hazel and she is a 2.5 year old Australian Shepherd mix. So far, she has been such a fun addition to the pack and is slowly learning to snooze through the chaos of three small children. It’s clear she did not come from a place of exercise or attention and we are doing our best to give her both. We were a complete pack before she joined us and now we have a bonus member!
I’m not sure when my next post will come. This post was a little off the nature/parentings course but I’m also using writing to keep track of progress. I’m hoping in a year from now, I can look back on this post with pride that I have followed through and my anxiety has subsided. Hopeful thinking!
Enjoy the rest of your cozy Autumn and all that Mother Nature has to offer in this season of calm, cozy preparation.
Stay cozy, friends.
AD