Hey Guys!
So just a little heads-up – sometimes these posts are literally just going to be my thoughts. Thoughts on what’s happening in the world, what’s happening in my world, reflections on the past, wondering about the future. It feels good to get these thoughts out and to let people in. I’m trying to format them in such a way that will plant seeds of thought or get discussions started in some way or another. I’m glad to have you here :)
Lately I’ve been trying to really reflect on the kind of childhood my children are going to look back on. I’ve been nitpicking my own childhood and wondering how my experiences shaped the adult I am today and how my children are experiencing a VERY different childhood than mine. What will this mean for their adulthood? I’m hoping it’ll be beneficial. I’m hoping they’ll be more open-minded and cultured. I’m also hoping I don’t fail them in teaching them to explore, think critically, and ultimately make their own decisions on the kind of life they want to have.
A little back story on how I remember my childhood. To even think critically about how you remember your childhood is probably something most people don’t consider. Just because I remember certain events a certain way doesn’t mean my dad or other family members remember it the same way. But in any case, despite one major tragedy I’ve had to endure, I consider my childhood to be a good one. I remember having a loving home despite my parents getting a divorce when I was in 4th grade. I remember growing up with a bunch of neighborhood friends and running around the block barefoot. We would climb trees, play kickball, play in the rain, play manhunt, play video games, and make up our own games. We were allowed a certain level of freedom that I cannot even fathom giving my children at elementary school age. “Come home when it starts to get dark” was the anthem of every summer.
I lived in a small little town in Pennsylvania. Everyone knew everyone in some way or another. And they still do. My grandparents lived only a few blocks away from my house, with other extended family not much farther. My sister and I used to spend days at my grandparents house during the summers going on bike rides, gardening, sledding, snowmobiling, building things with my grandpa while my grandma was at work. As an adult, I can see how rare that is. To spend time with your grandfather on a daily basis. He taught me so much about life and the outdoors. He gave us freedom to tear apart his yard, dig holes, play in the mud, plant trees, etc. Then in the middle of those hot afternoons, he would serve us ice cream or popsicles from the kitchen window as if it were a little ice cream shop. He made what could have been boring summer days so fun and that has really shaped how I am trying to raise my children. I want them to have opportunities to explore, play in the dirt, pick up bugs, make “potions” out of sticks, dirt, leaves and water.
My children have their grandparents close by. They see them weekly and get to spend a good amount of time with them while also being able to come along on trips to the zoo, aquarium, and any other crazy adventure we can come up with. They are here to help and to babysit when asked but it’s certainly not the same as them being able to walk to their house. It’s not that one scenario is better than the other, it’s just that I wonder and am curious as to how my children will interpret their time with people growing up. Maybe it will be an even more exciting time to see their grandparents because they don’t have access to them whenever they want. I know the time spent will always be fun and they’ll remember that it will just be a very different experience in comparison to what I had while growing up.
My children are currently being raised in a big city. Something that was so foreign to me even as an adult. That people just walked around the city all day long, going about their business, and could never pass someone they knew. They could go to the grocery store and not bump into an acquaintance and have to have a 15 minute conversation with them. They really could just walk in, get their groceries and leave. The city also offers a lot more than a small town. Not that a small town is worse, just different. In the city we have a ton of resources, museums, educational groups, and like-minded groups to help our children grow and become functional adults. They will get to meet all sorts of different people from all over the world. People are actually traveling to this city for vacations. I have never once heard of someone willingly taking a vacation to that small town in PA I’m from. HA!
Another huge difference in my childhood vs. my children’s childhood is school. From kindergarten until high school graduation, I went to public school with essentially the same 160 kids. A few newbies sprinkled in while a few kids moved away, but it was basically the same group of kids from start to finish. I could most likely line up everyone in my graduating class and call them by their first and last name. When I signed up for extracurricular activities, I pretty much already knew everyone in my group or on my team. This was beneficial for me in the sense that I didn’t have to be super sociable. While I was talkative (as I’m sure my teachers can agree), I didn’t have to try too hard to make new friends because I really wasn’t being introduced to new kids. My children are homeschooled. They won’t be exposed to the same class of students from start to finish. They will be included in extracurriculars, of course, but they will need to meet new kids over and over again without seeing them daily at school. They will need to be sociable to make friends. This is something I actually see as a benefit of homeschool. They will learn the ins and outs of socializing without being forced to socialize with the same group of kids from age 5-18. They will be able to walk away from kids they don’t like. They will be able to have more free time to hang out with the kids they do like. They will have to put thought and effort into maintaining relationships with people instead of just making sure they like someone enough to sit with them at lunch.
I don’t think one childhood is going to be better than the other because of the topics discussed above. I’m curious and eager to see how they shape my children into adulthood. We all are obviously trying to do the very best we can for our children. There are a lot of pros and cons to every scenario, none better than the other. My curiosity has gotten the best of me lately and I have just found myself thinking about the different ways we remember our childhoods and our memories. Maybe something to consider the next time you have a free minute is how do you remember your childhood? Certain memories? Bring them up with someone who was included in them and see if they have the same recollection of the memory or if it is slightly different.
A funny little story to end the post and it’s only slightly off topic. This morning M (age 5) was riding his bike on the back patio. Completely content on his own while my husband was working outside at the table. M says to my husband, “I think I will never say I think I only want things my way from now on because things are just this way, the world's way and the world's way is a great way because I get to ride bikes.” The gears in their little kid minds are moving, turning and remembering – ALL of the time. Even during the simplest activities like getting to ride your bike.