Gratitude
As always, my ideas for these posts are ever changing and hopefully evolving in a way that reaches a broader audience. I’ve enjoyed writing here and growing this space (slowly) over the last year and a half. And while there have been lots of changes, there have been lots of things that have remained the same. One of the most repetitive themes throughout has been gratitude. So starting today, I’d like to start each letter with a gratitude list. During your high-highs and your low-lows, there is always something to be grateful for. And simply put, the more basic you go, the more gratitude you should feel.
Gratitude:
Another day
Family
Health (mine & my family’s)
A roof over our head
3 little children running around
Nourishment through food
Books
Writing
Coffee
Your lists never need to be extensive or long. Just really think about all that you have right in front of you to be grateful for.
New Year, New Home, New Legacy
Over the last couple of months, we were on a rollercoaster of a house hunt. At one point, we threw in the towel and said, “buying a house just isn’t in the cards right now” but I think deep down we knew that wasn’t true. We went to see house after house after house. Made offer after offer, none accepted. One day I was scrolling through my liked list on Zillow, trying to imagine my children growing up in these staged photos, trying to imagine my bank account affording the mortgage (harder than anything, to be honest) and I stumbled across the house. I had saved it weeks before and didn’t think my husband would go for it. It was a 70s time capsule. A Golden Girls Mountain Retreat is really the only accurate description. So I showed him the pictures and to my surprise, he said, “lets go see it”. Now, we’ve seen our fair share of houses and I’l tell ya what, the photos you see on Zillow usually make a house look 100x better than it actually does. So we went in expecting the worst. We walked in, and just fell in love. The original owners are the ones selling the house. It was built in 1972. They have maintained the house beautifully and tactfully. Everything (almost) in near perfect condition. We were shocked and knew we wanted to make an offer right away. Our offer was countered, and we accepted the counter offer. I couldn’t believe we were moving forward. Throughout this whole process, I was thinking about how hard it must be for this couple to sell their house of 51 years. There were signs that they maybe were having a hard time maintaining the entire home on their own. I was imagining them moving in, building their life there, and expanding their family and relationship there. It must be heartbreaking to leave 51 years behind. Basically an entire lifetime. All of the things I imagined they did there, are all the things I’m looking to do with my family. I want my children to grow up in a solid home, surrounded by nature and love. I want to start traditions that are passed down from our children to to our grandchildren and even our great-grandchildren. Moving out in the mountains will be an entirely new experience for my husband and I. We moved from residential New England, to residential Florida, and now currently to residential Colorado.
There is something intriguing about imagining the lifestyle people had before all of the technology was introduced. Before WIFI, before commercial grocery stores, before stores like Home Depot and Lowes came into the picture. When people actually had to know and learn how to do things. Think about the rewarding feeling people must have felt time and time again when they were making, building, fixing and growing their own stuff to live. When work has to be put into something to get it, there is more thought put into it and the purpose has to be clear.
The legacy we want to leave behind is what fuels the way we live our lives now and the values we hold dear. We’re looking to learn more skills to become more independent and less reliant on others to help us succeed. We want to build things, grow things, hunt, and learn to be more dependent on natural resources. Convenience drives a lot of people but there is a lack of connection with convenience. There’s no connection to your food when you simply buy it off the shelves. There’s no connection to the furniture you buy and have delivered. There’s no connection to your home when its all stock furniture from Target and Ikea.
A loss of connection, in my opinion, is part of the destruction of the nuclear family. There is a major lack of communication due to the mass amounts of screens and technology introduced to children and adults alike. What kind of connection can you form online that is better than a real life connection? I do believe online communities serve their own purpose to connect people but there is no denying that an in person connection serves a higher purpose. Now people sit at the dinner table on their phones instead of having conversations with their family. While I understand that not everyone comes from a happy, healthy, loving family, I still see the importance of nurturing family relationships as best as they can be nurtured. Connection brings people together while the rest of society is trying (and succeeding in many ways) to pull people apart.
Over the past few years, I have grown apart from a lot of people. It sounds sad, but honestly, it has happened pretty naturally and there were no falling outs or dramatic exits. No one person is better than the other and I believe everyone is out there just trying their best. But it’s hard to keep an authentic and meaningful connection with people who have differing values. And thats OK. It’s natural to grow apart from people and for people to grow up and move on.
I think the biggest thing I want to leave my children with is learning the importance of connection and I think the rest will fall into place. If they prioritize connection with food, nature, materials and above all, people, I think they will grow up to be successful. Whatever success will look like in 15 to 20 years from now.
My biggest wish is for my children to grow up feeling connected to all that serves them in this life. Connected to their passions and the Earth. Connected to the sun, the sky and the moon. Connected to each other and whoever they choose to spend their lives with. I often wonder what they feel a major connection with at their age. Is it animals? Our dog? Dinosaurs? How can I teach them to see the importance of connection and how to allow them to naturally connect. The most obvious and easiest way is through doing. They will learn and grow with us, enhancing our connection as a family.
Enrich your connections. Prioritize connection.
What are some important values you hold? Where do they stem from?
-AD