Good morning, Friends
It’s April 9, 2024 — if you’re reading this, congratulations! You survived the Eclipse of 2024!
We have actually just passed the one year mark on the day we packed up and left our house in Florida. The house I got married in. The house I brought all 3 of my sweet babies home to. The house that I would consider my very first home in adulthood. There is sadness in leaving those memories with that house and I am often curious to know how the new owner has made it her own. In any sense, I hope she is enjoying that space as much as I have, if not more. The year has flown by but has been so much fun getting to explore a new state with such beautiful landscape. We capped off the year closing on our dream home (which I have now named The Rocky Mountain Treehouse) and are continuing to make it our own here with new memories.
Spring is definitely sprungin’! When I go outside I can smell the thaw of the ground. There are new smells everywhere wafting through the air which instantly gets me excited for the warmer weather that’s coming. I have never experienced the seasons in the Rocky Mountains. I have no idea what to expect day by day which makes it that much more exciting. Winter thankfully remains pretty green with the pine trees surrounding our property.
Last night I had a thought and I’m quite surprised it stayed with me until this morning. All bets are off when I shut my eyes for the night. I’m basically a robot shutting down for the night when I go to sleep, only to be rebooted the next morning when my alarm goes off at 4am.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Why is it we always have to compare our journey to other people’s journeys?
As you can imagine, at 32 years old, I have often been written off by my elders. I often find they do not think I have “been through” enough to be as weathered, bright, or conscious as them. In reality, I find, I have been right about a lot of things a lot of the time. Of course, I’ve been wrong, too. But why are we always so obsessed with telling people we have been through more than them? Even strangers whose stories we know nothing about? Why do we also use our stories as an excuse to then be bitter, rude, angry?
I wonder if it has to do with our insecurity surrounding the events or people that have hurt us? If we feel like we need to tell other people, even strangers, how we have been wronged throughout our lives? Maybe it’s as simple as wanting to get it off our chest. Maybe we’re looking for validation — “Oh wow! You have been through a lot!” Now I am certainly not saying we should never talk about what we’ve been through. It can be extremely therapeutic to discuss what we have been through. What I am talking about here is how we compare ourselves to family members, friends, strangers.
We cannot completely control our lives. Most of what happens to us is out of our control. And yet we use these events or instances to harden us instead of to propel us forward into being more understanding and sympathetic to our fellow man.
There is no award for “going through the most crap in your life”. No trophy, or ribbon. Not even a pat on the back. It’s how you pull yourself together after these things happen and how you treat other people despite the crap you’ve gone through that awards you.
I first heard a quote a while back on the size of your plate. Just because you can carry a heavier load does not mean the person with the smaller load is any less. Their struggles may seem small compared to the burden you find yourself carrying. But if we are removing the comparison, all that’s left are two people with struggles, doing their very best to make it through. So I ask you — On what sized plate do you carry your “crap”? Next time you come across someone who is struggling, imagine them with a smaller plate and see if there is any way you can offer a helping hand instead of a high-five to the forehead.
This morning I opened my journal and decided to write about the times where I feel I’ve been hardened by what happened to me. Instead of writing about how I am upset, I wrote about how that may have changed me in a positive light and how I may now offer something to the world I wouldn’t have been able to before.
Focus on understanding.
Focus on positivity.
I haven’t been as routine as I’d like to be in finding my Lights in the Darkness lately so I want to add a list here. This is such a great way to start each day and remind yourself that you have so much light surrounding you, no matter how dark it feels.
Lights in the Darkness:
Another day
Health
My husband & 3 children
The pups! Hazel & Waylon
Coffee
The calmness of waking up before everyone & writing in the living room
The clear sky & morning stars
The confidence I have to put a post out this morning
The smell of the Earth thawing out
The new birds that arrived for Spring
The current warmth of my wool blanket
The sillouette of the pine trees in the darkness
The emerging woodland creatures coming out of their winter hiding places
-AD
I very much needed to read this today, now I'm sitting here pondering the size of my plate and the lights in my darkness. Your writing is one of those lights - thank you.
AD, Thanks for sharing this. Spring is definitely making its way around. I particularly enjoyed your sentence here: "The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths." This is so accurate and true. Something about suffering really makes things beautiful, if paired with time. Diamonds, I suppose, are like this. They are formed under intense heat. And they only takes shape after some time had gone by.