Hey Guys!
Sorry this post is a day late – something like a stomach bug, kids dentist appointments and jiu jitsu kept me away from the computer yesterday. Anywho, stomach bug has passed, kids teeth are clean and M learned how to do a “sleeping crocodile” drill at jiu jitsu with the biggest smile on his little face.
There is SO much we can learn from our kids.
As I was reading one of my favorite substacks the other day, Earth’s Next Chapter by Anne Waple, she added a quote at the very end of one of her posts that really resonated with me. You can find her post here but the quote was as follows –
“Far too many of us have been lured into the cult of efficiency. We are driven, but we long ago lost sight of what we were driving toward. We judge our days based on how efficient they are, not how fulfilling.” – quote from Celeste Headless in her book ‘Do Nothing’.
After reading this quote, I really tried to slow down and take a look at how my kids run through a day. I have a 5, 3, and 1 year old. The 1 year old is obviously very go with the flow. She stumbles and bumbles around the house picking up toys and putting them down, chases after her big brothers, tries to grab anything and everything off the tables and counters, takes a nap, and repeat. That’s her entire day! And guess what, she has no complaints! Each day, I’m assuming because of how happy she is, is a great day for her! On to the 3 and 5 year old. They are feisty, energetic, and smart as hell. Lately, they have been shocking me with their memory and the knowledge they absorb on a daily basis. Guess what makes a good day for these two? Playing in the dirt, getting out in the sun, playing on the bounce house, having a dance party, going for a walk, gardening, anything outside of the house. They love to be outside and honestly, their imagination runs more freely outside. There is less fighting outside and more exploration. This was eye-opening once I really started thinking about it. Why is it that as adults we think we need to be efficient and productive every minute of the day or we’re “lazy”. That simply is not the case.
I do believe in priorities and as adults, yes, we have them. Working, keeping food in the fridge, keeping the house clean, keeping the kids clean (as much as possible when they’re playing in the dirt everyday), keeping everyone fed, etc. The basics do need priority. But when did we stop doing the things that we enjoyed doing? Things we just did for fun. Not for a side hustle, not for income…just things we really enjoyed. For me, in the last couple of months, I picked up reading again and I’m trying to pay more attention to our garden. The garden is always so much fun because it doesn’t require anymore attention than I’m willing to give but I have had a lot of fun cleaning it up and just looking at how much life, plant, bug, and animal alike has made our garden their home.
I’m sure some people could argue that reading is a waste of time for a stay-at-home, homeschool mom of 3. Surely, there is always something around the house that could be done. And while that’s true, it’s still important to take beat. To take time for yourself and do something you enjoy JUST because you enjoy it. If I wanted to, I could fill my days up with chores from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep. But guess what, years of that would pass and what would I have to show for it? A clean house? Don’t get me wrong, my house is always some version of clean because a clean house for me brings mental clarity, but I don’t need to fill my day with chores just to feel productive. I don’t want my tombstone to read, “Here lies Allison, she had the cleanest house on the block”. Reading is important to me because reading is how I continue to learn. Even if I’m reading a classic book (currently reading 1984 by George Orwell), there is always something to be learned and absorbed. Lifelong learning is so important and it’s for personal growth, but it’s also how as a society we continue to learn, grow and evolve.
Gardening has become a way to reconnect with everything that has already been there. Just in pulling the weeds in our garden I’ve found all sorts of bugs and grubs, caterpillars, lizards, you name it! These little life forms call the garden home and have everything they need to survive right in our backyard. If you think about it, it’s a world within a world. And I just think it’s really cool and that people need to be reminded that there’s more to life and earth than whatever humans are doing day to day.
As a society, we’ve just been taught to go to school for 8 hours a day, graduate, go to work for 8 hours a day (most people work much longer days), come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed and wake up and do it all over again. The current schedule leaves almost no time for people to do literally anything they enjoy doing. No time for extracurriculars, no time for hobbies, no time for unwinding and calming down. Think about it, even scheduled vacations aren’t relaxing anymore. There’s always a feeling that they need to be booked solid so you can experience every single thing the vacation has to offer.
It’s so important to make time for the things you enjoy and the things that will make your days, weeks, months, years more fulfilling. Otherwise, what’s the point? What’s the point of living on this beautiful planet that has so much to offer if all you’re doing is waking up to go sit in an office and then come home and go to sleep? I’m not suggesting you quit your job, because, hello, things are only getting more expensive (another ridiculous trick), but I am encouraging you to make time for the things and hobbies that would bring you more happiness.
Mental sweat exercise: Start by adding a hobby or fulfilling activity to your schedule weekly. Once you’ve mastered making time for it weekly, try 3x a week, and then move it to daily. You all deserve to be enjoying your limited time here on Earth even if it takes a little bit of work to make it happen.
And because the quote at the end of Anne’s post really resonated and changed my perspective a little, I’m going to end my post with a thought provoking quote. I have been listening to Alan Watts (full credit to my husband Ricky for this) and this man is just spot on. Decades ago this man came to have what I think is just a phenomenal understanding of literally everything and articulates it in such a brilliant way that makes sense.
“When you get free from certain fixed concepts of the way the world is, you find it is far more subtle, and far more miraculous, than you thought it was.” – Alan Watts
Keep learning, growing, seeing, doing
-A
Very well said, Ally. I also have found that if I don’t take care of myself by reading, exercising, etc, I’m not the mom I need to be…or the person I want to be. Makes sense that we should do those things that refresh daily 💗